Up all night got demons to fight

These past few days have been intense and chaotic! I kind of enjoy it though because I work well under pressure. You know Im still amazed at how people can say they're your friend then do something heinous to you. Today was a nice break from some dramatic people. I went to Riverside with Fernie to take his mom some papers, we came back to orange and actually went mini golfing! I won by one point but...I got hurt while we were playing! I tried to be cute and funny and play with the golf ball and the ball ended up hitting me in the mouth and made me bleed. No joke, I was laughing! It hurt but, it was just so funny! Then got home and went to my aunts house, its nice to have such an amazing family. I am so thankful to have such an amazing and helpful family. Whenever someone is in need they bend over backwards to make sure that they are being helped. It just so amazing. I love christmas time! I cant say it enough! I love shopping for everyone's gifts, the decorating, and the dressing up.Oh not to mention all the great songs they play at work "last christmas I gave you my heart but, the very next day..you gave it away...." ....Thats my favorite one. I get happy everytime I hear it! Dream a little dream of me came on right now and I love it. I am supposed to have a dinner date tomorrow, and Im so excited. Im sort of in a dilemma...I have more than 2 guys to choose from. Im trying to get to know them all and make sure my decision is right. I just dont know if thats right though? Im not doing anything more than going out on little dates...but can it still be crossing the line?? Im so lost, I honestly have no idea! So my paycheck is coming on friday, so excited to get everyone things. I am getting my sister some new clothes and my mom some jewelry from work and aldo! Her Birthday is thursday! Im so excited! Im also getting my self a tattoo for christmas! Im going to get three little kiss marks like the picture on top. Each kiss represents my momma, my sister and me! You know what..Im thankful for the amazing family I have been given. Everyone in my family is just such an amazing person in thier own way. I see when others are in need they all pitch in to help. Its just amazing at how blessed I am to have them around. I miss my grandpa, I knew he would have loved the new puppy we have. I hope I get to visit his grave soon, its been ages since I have been there. Well I should finish this up, Im getting a little tired. Im going to watch a movie called "christmas in handcuffs" so cute! goodnight everyone!

"And all my magic will keep you dizzy with desire"

I want to start this off by saying, its raining! I love when it rains. It sets many moods. Listening to since you're gone by the cars and rain drops is heaven. Work was very busy today, I wore my boots and a new brown sweater I bought...big mistake! My boots havent been broken into yet...so now I have blisters and sore feet. Its ok though, my outfit was so cute. This week has been so topsy turvy, I feel like Im in a flim. I feel so tired, hopefully tomorrow I get to sleep in and then have a fun night out! Today I woke up, got ready and left to work with Fernie. Went to work, worked(obviously), then Fernie took me to eat In N Out! I was so hungry! I was a beast...I dont care, I was starving! Being the fitting room attendant is not an easy job! There are so many things you have to do and be sure to do. I was always busy with one thing or another. My feet and back are hurting but, its all worth it! Tomorrow I plan to go out to TGIFridays..let Ashley have her drinks and then head off the meet the guys for a game of bowling and hookah session after. I need some fun in my life. Ashley gives me that. We are laughing and having fun the whole time. Funny how people can surprise you. I have learned dont judge alot, people will turn around and be the opposite of what you thought. I hope I can get one nights good rest, Im in dire need for it! I want to say that I have been better...but I feel ok now. I think I can finally accept how things are and move on with my life. We cant dwell in the past...thats something I know I have to work on. I turn to the past alot and its not the smartest idea because I feel sad after. Luckly I have so many amazing friends who have come out and said "I will never leave your side Gianna". those are the kind of people I need to surround myself with. Not people who are going to leave when things are rough. Many friends have proved themselves to me. little things they say or do count. I love them all for being here when I was in need of sympathy and care. They snapped me out of it and helped me smile and forget. I think about things..but time heals....slowly but time does heal. Oh this morning I found a huge nasty bruise on my thigh. This is something that would only happen to me. I stumbled a little and BAM hit myself on this metal part of the car door. I am so clumsy! I dont know how many times I almost fell at work...imagine how embarrassing that would be!! I think it would be funny though, you have to learn to laugh at yourself when you do something dumb. Seriously people, dont take yourself so seriously! Sometimes being at work makes me realize how mean and rude some people are out there. I go out there with a smile and am always sweet! Some people were never brought up with manners! Its so sad and I pity the because nobody likes rude and snooty people! do you?? I didnt think so! Some will say thank you with a smile and others are shady and wont even say thank you...much less a smile! People these days..so pathetic! Im so excited for this weekend, I hope that everyone is good! I wanted to say thank you to you people who sit there and actually read this. You all are beautiful and amazing people. Never hesitate to post something..OH YES!..... I have decided that I will be selling some clothes that is in good condition! I have some things I need to clear with my bank and I need to buy some packaging for everything. Photos might be taken tomorrow and post will be up soon for it. They will all be on the cheaper side, I know not everyone has money these days. Some of these clothes I haven't even worn! I warn that I am small, therefore all I have are smalls and mediums! Thank you again everyone. Goodnight all you lovely people.




xoxo

By blood and by mean, I fall when you leave

Im so glad I woke up when I did. My dream was so messed up, why must I dream about people I dont want to? I got up and got ready, then went to big lots and DSW! I bought some new boots! I had to get them, they were $50.00...not bad at all! I was supposed to get a flannel for windy city day but didnt....tomorrow maybe. I need to save money for this weekend. Im going out to eat and then a hookah bar on friday. I need some time out and having fun. I need to meet more people and have more friends! I feel alot better today, I broke down maybe one but after that Ive been ok! Well today I went to work at 2....got out at 7:12...got picked up around 9! I was waiting outside in the cold for my mah to get there! I was so cold i was shivering still when i got home. My hands and arms went numb, it was so sad. Got into the car and my mom felt so bad she bought me starbucks..I got a hot chocolate. Then we went to papa johns and ordered pizza. It was soo yummy, I hadnt eaten all day! While at work I got into a tiff with a customer. She was mad about us not taking merchandise off the mannequin! I stayed sweet the whole time though! It was insane and I was so upset, my back hurt and it was all just maddness! the worst was freezing though. I still am shivering a little! I bought 3 new movies! I bought my little sister Identity, she loves it. Then I bought myself blood and chocolate and love&cigarettes. Im trying to save some money so I can get my Karma Police tattoo. I dont care what happened between me and my "ex" bestie...Im going to get my tattoo...it was my idea to do it in the first place anyways. I have a whole list but the rest can wait! thats all that really happened today. Im getting thirsty, I need to take advil for my back also. I have something to say before I finish this blog....dont take advantage of the people you have in your life..ever. You have to appreciate them because one day they could leave. trust me, its one of the worst feelings ever. Dont do it to people who you care about. Let them know you love them and care for them and appreciate all that they do for you. thats all lol, take my advice....I know from experience! I think im getting a cold! hope everyone reading this learns something! goodnight everyone.





xoxo

Tell me when you hear my silence, youre the only one that knows.

Have you ever had someone very important in youre life just walk out and leave you...Ive had that happen twise. This feeling is like nothing else in the world. You feel lost and alone, the next day is the worst. You place all your trust in someone and you give them your all because you believe in them. Then they turn around and do that. I cant explain how my heart feels right now. the first time was a lover, the worst was when my bestfriend left. They tell you you deserve better but then they do it..and its worse...so much worse. I feel so messed up in my head, I feel sick with heartbreak and anger. This is why I have trust issues, and why I need a therapist. I need a break from everything right now.

"tell me when you hear my heart stop"

November was such a busy month, there was so much going on. I did get to see new moon opening night! I tried so hard not to cry when Edward leaves her because I understand what its like to be left so suddenly. I also know what it is like to have a best friend save you. I loved the movie and the soundtrack is amazing, I cannot stop listening to it! Thanksgiving was a little small get together but it was still fun, it was a night of gay men and wii. priceless! On a sad note I found out I was negative in my account....$240. I got my first paycheck last weekend and that was $56 for orientation and 2 days of training haha. My second paycheck was a higher but I have to give it to the bank! Soooo sad! Work has been keeping me pretty busy, and I love it. I got to go to temecula last weekend and visit my family! It was sooo nice. John(baby brother) is getting so big its crazy, he's such a cutie pie. I had alot of fun, I want to go back soon! BIG NEWS! I started up my own business. I am a member of NuSkin. They sell anti aging things that really do work, I have seen them first hand. They sell make up, hair products, vitamins that help fight off cancer, and so much more. When i get more into the business I will tell you all more about it! Its so exciting because there are so many people out there who are interested in this! Oh about this weekend, I learned something new. I dont have time to waste on people who dont make time for me. I was supposed to catch up with someone who I liked and had been talking to. Totally blew me off and no text since then. So I have went out and met new people!! I actually got asked if I wanted to hang by a coworker. He is funny, cute, sweet, and seems like such a hard worker....Did I mention cute???? I am so happy to see that I am able to move on from what has happened. I needed that extra little push...and I got it. If its not meant to be, it wont work out....and it didnt work! I like how I told everyone about my cute coworker and now we are talking and hanging out. Things like this make my faith get higher and higher, I am amazed. I work today and I cant wait to go because its a theme day! We have to dress like "NY Dolls" lalalalove it. I am wearing my spandex leather leggings with a new sequins tank I bought and some new heels with a hat i just bought! I think Im a little to excited ahah. Tonight should be a busy one too, its Saturday night. We just got a new line in and Its Paris inspired! I have to shower and get ready for work in a little. I cant believe Christmas is right around the corner, I need to star thinking about what I am going to buy for my family. Does anyone understand how fun Christmas time is?? I want to go to Disneyland, I love the way they set it up this time around. I was thinking back a little and seeing how my style has changed alot. I was pretty plain, I like more flashy &edgy things. I thank my work for that. I am currently listening to my myspace play list. you all should add me. myspace.com/lovefool23 . I am going to try and blog more about what is going on so you dont have to sit and read this looong entry. Anways I wish the best for you all, and hope you all are having an amazing time. Also before I leave I want to say dont let people get you down with their gossip. They are threatened by you and your amazingness that they have to shoot you down for their pleasure. Its sad and pathetic, Smile because they are jealous of you and what you have. There is no point in getting upset because you know who you are and thats what matters. Thats all! love you all.



xoxo gia