"leather and jeans, garage glamorous"

So i just started working and knew i was in need for some new things. I got steve madden boots, my fave! i got two leggings. one at the bottom has golden studs...i dont know about you but i love studs. the other pair is a poly-spandex..they are so comfy! I bought a new top. what you see is the back. it has a racer back with sequins. sequins are amazing!! the last thing i got was the skirt, which has ruffles along the whole dress. on my first day i wore the skirt with a v neck tucked under and tights with my steve madden flats. it was so cute, i was all excited about it. with my first paycheck im taking my sister shopping, and an ex out to dinner..then buying more clothes! i desperately need new clothes! so today i was thinking about alot of things. im always thinking but today it was alot alot of thinking. i was wondering why people can take advantage of peoples feelings and use it against them! its so worng but, so many people do it. someone did this to me the other day but im not so mad at them but, more myself. i let this happen, and let it get that way. someone talked to me today and helped me with my dilemma. he said to me "you must love yourself before you can love anyone else" i must work on that. maybe once i can do that i can find someone special. last night was such a nice low key night! my sister and i got ice cream, came home and made some mashed potatoes. later on we watched the shinning. its such a good and older movie. crazy how much older it is and still is pretty creepy. so i just started to listening to this guy Nick V..he's an amazing musician. cannot stop listening to oh no! http://www.myspace.com/overlandmusic there is the link...you should listen to it. help him out! the song makes me smile and happy. so i dont work for another week! im excited to go back for some more training, its fun! im loving the weather that we are having. gloomy skies, cold nights, and all. winter is my favorite time of all! i love this season. its a season that makes you want to find someone to be with. someone to snuggle with and drink tea with. maybe just maybe! i want to get a pink Christmas tree and decorate it with white and silver, it would be so cute. i think this might be it for today, i have to get ready and get some things done!


xoxo

pleasure and pain

For a while now ive had alot on my mind. I wonder if Im meant to be alone. I find someone..like them..things get deeper then..my feelings are gone and out the door. Why am I unable to feel something deep for someone like I once did? Maybe I haven't found the right person or maybe its just me. I like being able to text or call or even see someone who makes me feel special and pretty. I dont know what its wrong. Other than that I have been ok. I started work officially yesterday! It was harder than I thought but, still so much fun! All my coworkers helped out when I needed them and the managers also helped. It was nice. I go back next week for my second training. I got home around 5 something, I was so tired it was insane. I didnt end up going to bed early though, I watched sid and nancy twise! When i started to really drift off I out on forgetting sarah marshall. Such great films! Im sittting here listening to pleasure and pain by steve jones. Im obsessed with it right now. Ive been listening to The Cars a lot also. School is starting soon, I dont feel too excited right now...money issues are getting the best of me right now. I wish I had started looking for a job earlier so I would have the 2,000 already. All i can do is move on though, save and then pay as soon as I can. I just hope I'll have enough!! I have way too much on my mind, I need to relax. I might see my friend tonight, he'll be able to keep me distracted and laughing. Im thinking about having a beauty day, rejuvenate myself a little. Ive had such bad stress I have crazy heartburn and terrible knotts in my back. Im a mess at 18 lol, just pathetic. Anyways, Im going to have a beauty day. You all should treat yourself to some pampering also!







xoxo

"There's no stopping the show With your pretty pink bow"

wow it feels like such a long time since i have been on here. i have been up to my knees in chaos. alot has happened since i last was on here. i have moved back to my hometown Orange! so happy to be back. i have been out and about thats is why i havent posted! a couple weekends ago i went to temecula to visit....i wanted to see someone who i had "liked" for a long while. i got picked up around 12 and got to temecula around 1 20 or so. talked to my dad, the baby(brother) and my grandma! it was nice to see them all. it felt a little weird at first but then i got used to it. took a nap and texted that dazzling man. i ended up going to the festival with him and it was funny, we expected better and it let us down. i was so happy to be with him that i didnt really care. i was just so excited to see him. we then walked to his place and talked. then things got intense. i was soo happy i was shaking. i never thought that something between us would happen because he was in a relationship with someone for a lifetime. i ended up going home around 3 am. such an amazing night! that saturday i went out with my friend steve and he took me to dinner and to see saw 6! we had so much fun. we laughed soo much about things like rice and a crispy fry. i had a blast with him. then my night went to a halt when i found out my bestfriend was in an accident. that was the worst feeling in the world. i have never felt so scared or so sad in my entire life. thats why i think we should always appreciate things while they are here because you never know when they will be gone. we always take things for granted and say "i'll see him later and say sorry"....there isnt always a later for some. anyways later i found out he was ok. then sunday alex(step sister) woke me up at 5 to open the door for her. she had just got back from mexico with her family. we talked till we couldnt even make a complete sentence. we then decided to go to the movies and the dazzling man said he wanted to see me and take me to lunch. so we went to the mall, waited for people to get there and my sister left me and the guy at red robins. hmmm it was so nice to feel the way he made me feel. i havent been so happy in a long time. right at this moment i feel my cheeks getting hot. he is just so amazing and i have such a wonderful time with him. i was so sad when i had to leave. i got my goodbye kiss and hug. then i got back home to reality. i do have a job now! i got hired at forever 21, im soo happy. i need the money for school....which i start in jan! im so thankful to have landed the job but i have so much crap going on. two nights ago i had the worst fight ever. i have never cried so hard my entire life i thought i was going to lose someone who meant to world to me. this person had got me through the toughest times and i couldnt believe he could walk out on me like that. i have been hurt so much. BUT ahha....that dazzling man said he wanted me to be him roomie. we are getting a studio apartment together. yeah yeah...little fast? you have to live life to the fullest because you dont know when your time is over. i dont want to live my life anymore thinking "what if i did this or said this" im so done with that shit. i want to have a fun and good life. i have a job, a chase card, a great family and good friends! i want to enjoy my time. im 18 and well capable of making decisions whether they are good ones or bad ones. you learn from all the decisions you make in life. im really excited about things. you know even though you have alot of bad shit happening to you..there are always things out there to keep you busy and happy. whether its someone or something. surround yourself with things that make you happy at all times. im so thankful that my mom was there when i got home the other night. i was hysteric and couldnt even breathe. i had flashbacks on the times that me and mt friend had...and broke down. i thought back to when my first love left me and how it hurt so much more when my friend walked out on me. i cried so much i made myself sick. it was the most terrible thing. i never ever want to go through that again..nor do i wish for anyone to feel the way i did. it was a nasty feeling....to wake up after you cry yourself to sleep then wake up to the harsh reality that last night wasnt a nightmare but it happened. i feel like i am all over the place with this blog, i have so much i want to say and find it so hard to explain it all. i should probably stop before i confuse everyone. i hope everyone is well and make sure that if you are fighting with someone that you love...make up. you really never know when your time or theirs are up. make amends. goodnight everyone!




xoxo