pleasure and pain

For a while now ive had alot on my mind. I wonder if Im meant to be alone. I find someone..like them..things get deeper then..my feelings are gone and out the door. Why am I unable to feel something deep for someone like I once did? Maybe I haven't found the right person or maybe its just me. I like being able to text or call or even see someone who makes me feel special and pretty. I dont know what its wrong. Other than that I have been ok. I started work officially yesterday! It was harder than I thought but, still so much fun! All my coworkers helped out when I needed them and the managers also helped. It was nice. I go back next week for my second training. I got home around 5 something, I was so tired it was insane. I didnt end up going to bed early though, I watched sid and nancy twise! When i started to really drift off I out on forgetting sarah marshall. Such great films! Im sittting here listening to pleasure and pain by steve jones. Im obsessed with it right now. Ive been listening to The Cars a lot also. School is starting soon, I dont feel too excited right now...money issues are getting the best of me right now. I wish I had started looking for a job earlier so I would have the 2,000 already. All i can do is move on though, save and then pay as soon as I can. I just hope I'll have enough!! I have way too much on my mind, I need to relax. I might see my friend tonight, he'll be able to keep me distracted and laughing. Im thinking about having a beauty day, rejuvenate myself a little. Ive had such bad stress I have crazy heartburn and terrible knotts in my back. Im a mess at 18 lol, just pathetic. Anyways, Im going to have a beauty day. You all should treat yourself to some pampering also!







xoxo