"And all my magic will keep you dizzy with desire"

I want to start this off by saying, its raining! I love when it rains. It sets many moods. Listening to since you're gone by the cars and rain drops is heaven. Work was very busy today, I wore my boots and a new brown sweater I bought...big mistake! My boots havent been broken into yet...so now I have blisters and sore feet. Its ok though, my outfit was so cute. This week has been so topsy turvy, I feel like Im in a flim. I feel so tired, hopefully tomorrow I get to sleep in and then have a fun night out! Today I woke up, got ready and left to work with Fernie. Went to work, worked(obviously), then Fernie took me to eat In N Out! I was so hungry! I was a beast...I dont care, I was starving! Being the fitting room attendant is not an easy job! There are so many things you have to do and be sure to do. I was always busy with one thing or another. My feet and back are hurting but, its all worth it! Tomorrow I plan to go out to TGIFridays..let Ashley have her drinks and then head off the meet the guys for a game of bowling and hookah session after. I need some fun in my life. Ashley gives me that. We are laughing and having fun the whole time. Funny how people can surprise you. I have learned dont judge alot, people will turn around and be the opposite of what you thought. I hope I can get one nights good rest, Im in dire need for it! I want to say that I have been better...but I feel ok now. I think I can finally accept how things are and move on with my life. We cant dwell in the past...thats something I know I have to work on. I turn to the past alot and its not the smartest idea because I feel sad after. Luckly I have so many amazing friends who have come out and said "I will never leave your side Gianna". those are the kind of people I need to surround myself with. Not people who are going to leave when things are rough. Many friends have proved themselves to me. little things they say or do count. I love them all for being here when I was in need of sympathy and care. They snapped me out of it and helped me smile and forget. I think about things..but time heals....slowly but time does heal. Oh this morning I found a huge nasty bruise on my thigh. This is something that would only happen to me. I stumbled a little and BAM hit myself on this metal part of the car door. I am so clumsy! I dont know how many times I almost fell at work...imagine how embarrassing that would be!! I think it would be funny though, you have to learn to laugh at yourself when you do something dumb. Seriously people, dont take yourself so seriously! Sometimes being at work makes me realize how mean and rude some people are out there. I go out there with a smile and am always sweet! Some people were never brought up with manners! Its so sad and I pity the because nobody likes rude and snooty people! do you?? I didnt think so! Some will say thank you with a smile and others are shady and wont even say thank you...much less a smile! People these days..so pathetic! Im so excited for this weekend, I hope that everyone is good! I wanted to say thank you to you people who sit there and actually read this. You all are beautiful and amazing people. Never hesitate to post something..OH YES!..... I have decided that I will be selling some clothes that is in good condition! I have some things I need to clear with my bank and I need to buy some packaging for everything. Photos might be taken tomorrow and post will be up soon for it. They will all be on the cheaper side, I know not everyone has money these days. Some of these clothes I haven't even worn! I warn that I am small, therefore all I have are smalls and mediums! Thank you again everyone. Goodnight all you lovely people.




xoxo

By blood and by mean, I fall when you leave

Im so glad I woke up when I did. My dream was so messed up, why must I dream about people I dont want to? I got up and got ready, then went to big lots and DSW! I bought some new boots! I had to get them, they were $50.00...not bad at all! I was supposed to get a flannel for windy city day but didnt....tomorrow maybe. I need to save money for this weekend. Im going out to eat and then a hookah bar on friday. I need some time out and having fun. I need to meet more people and have more friends! I feel alot better today, I broke down maybe one but after that Ive been ok! Well today I went to work at 2....got out at 7:12...got picked up around 9! I was waiting outside in the cold for my mah to get there! I was so cold i was shivering still when i got home. My hands and arms went numb, it was so sad. Got into the car and my mom felt so bad she bought me starbucks..I got a hot chocolate. Then we went to papa johns and ordered pizza. It was soo yummy, I hadnt eaten all day! While at work I got into a tiff with a customer. She was mad about us not taking merchandise off the mannequin! I stayed sweet the whole time though! It was insane and I was so upset, my back hurt and it was all just maddness! the worst was freezing though. I still am shivering a little! I bought 3 new movies! I bought my little sister Identity, she loves it. Then I bought myself blood and chocolate and love&cigarettes. Im trying to save some money so I can get my Karma Police tattoo. I dont care what happened between me and my "ex" bestie...Im going to get my tattoo...it was my idea to do it in the first place anyways. I have a whole list but the rest can wait! thats all that really happened today. Im getting thirsty, I need to take advil for my back also. I have something to say before I finish this blog....dont take advantage of the people you have in your life..ever. You have to appreciate them because one day they could leave. trust me, its one of the worst feelings ever. Dont do it to people who you care about. Let them know you love them and care for them and appreciate all that they do for you. thats all lol, take my advice....I know from experience! I think im getting a cold! hope everyone reading this learns something! goodnight everyone.





xoxo

Tell me when you hear my silence, youre the only one that knows.

Have you ever had someone very important in youre life just walk out and leave you...Ive had that happen twise. This feeling is like nothing else in the world. You feel lost and alone, the next day is the worst. You place all your trust in someone and you give them your all because you believe in them. Then they turn around and do that. I cant explain how my heart feels right now. the first time was a lover, the worst was when my bestfriend left. They tell you you deserve better but then they do it..and its worse...so much worse. I feel so messed up in my head, I feel sick with heartbreak and anger. This is why I have trust issues, and why I need a therapist. I need a break from everything right now.

"tell me when you hear my heart stop"

November was such a busy month, there was so much going on. I did get to see new moon opening night! I tried so hard not to cry when Edward leaves her because I understand what its like to be left so suddenly. I also know what it is like to have a best friend save you. I loved the movie and the soundtrack is amazing, I cannot stop listening to it! Thanksgiving was a little small get together but it was still fun, it was a night of gay men and wii. priceless! On a sad note I found out I was negative in my account....$240. I got my first paycheck last weekend and that was $56 for orientation and 2 days of training haha. My second paycheck was a higher but I have to give it to the bank! Soooo sad! Work has been keeping me pretty busy, and I love it. I got to go to temecula last weekend and visit my family! It was sooo nice. John(baby brother) is getting so big its crazy, he's such a cutie pie. I had alot of fun, I want to go back soon! BIG NEWS! I started up my own business. I am a member of NuSkin. They sell anti aging things that really do work, I have seen them first hand. They sell make up, hair products, vitamins that help fight off cancer, and so much more. When i get more into the business I will tell you all more about it! Its so exciting because there are so many people out there who are interested in this! Oh about this weekend, I learned something new. I dont have time to waste on people who dont make time for me. I was supposed to catch up with someone who I liked and had been talking to. Totally blew me off and no text since then. So I have went out and met new people!! I actually got asked if I wanted to hang by a coworker. He is funny, cute, sweet, and seems like such a hard worker....Did I mention cute???? I am so happy to see that I am able to move on from what has happened. I needed that extra little push...and I got it. If its not meant to be, it wont work out....and it didnt work! I like how I told everyone about my cute coworker and now we are talking and hanging out. Things like this make my faith get higher and higher, I am amazed. I work today and I cant wait to go because its a theme day! We have to dress like "NY Dolls" lalalalove it. I am wearing my spandex leather leggings with a new sequins tank I bought and some new heels with a hat i just bought! I think Im a little to excited ahah. Tonight should be a busy one too, its Saturday night. We just got a new line in and Its Paris inspired! I have to shower and get ready for work in a little. I cant believe Christmas is right around the corner, I need to star thinking about what I am going to buy for my family. Does anyone understand how fun Christmas time is?? I want to go to Disneyland, I love the way they set it up this time around. I was thinking back a little and seeing how my style has changed alot. I was pretty plain, I like more flashy &edgy things. I thank my work for that. I am currently listening to my myspace play list. you all should add me. myspace.com/lovefool23 . I am going to try and blog more about what is going on so you dont have to sit and read this looong entry. Anways I wish the best for you all, and hope you all are having an amazing time. Also before I leave I want to say dont let people get you down with their gossip. They are threatened by you and your amazingness that they have to shoot you down for their pleasure. Its sad and pathetic, Smile because they are jealous of you and what you have. There is no point in getting upset because you know who you are and thats what matters. Thats all! love you all.



xoxo gia

"leather and jeans, garage glamorous"

So i just started working and knew i was in need for some new things. I got steve madden boots, my fave! i got two leggings. one at the bottom has golden studs...i dont know about you but i love studs. the other pair is a poly-spandex..they are so comfy! I bought a new top. what you see is the back. it has a racer back with sequins. sequins are amazing!! the last thing i got was the skirt, which has ruffles along the whole dress. on my first day i wore the skirt with a v neck tucked under and tights with my steve madden flats. it was so cute, i was all excited about it. with my first paycheck im taking my sister shopping, and an ex out to dinner..then buying more clothes! i desperately need new clothes! so today i was thinking about alot of things. im always thinking but today it was alot alot of thinking. i was wondering why people can take advantage of peoples feelings and use it against them! its so worng but, so many people do it. someone did this to me the other day but im not so mad at them but, more myself. i let this happen, and let it get that way. someone talked to me today and helped me with my dilemma. he said to me "you must love yourself before you can love anyone else" i must work on that. maybe once i can do that i can find someone special. last night was such a nice low key night! my sister and i got ice cream, came home and made some mashed potatoes. later on we watched the shinning. its such a good and older movie. crazy how much older it is and still is pretty creepy. so i just started to listening to this guy Nick V..he's an amazing musician. cannot stop listening to oh no! http://www.myspace.com/overlandmusic there is the link...you should listen to it. help him out! the song makes me smile and happy. so i dont work for another week! im excited to go back for some more training, its fun! im loving the weather that we are having. gloomy skies, cold nights, and all. winter is my favorite time of all! i love this season. its a season that makes you want to find someone to be with. someone to snuggle with and drink tea with. maybe just maybe! i want to get a pink Christmas tree and decorate it with white and silver, it would be so cute. i think this might be it for today, i have to get ready and get some things done!


xoxo

pleasure and pain

For a while now ive had alot on my mind. I wonder if Im meant to be alone. I find someone..like them..things get deeper then..my feelings are gone and out the door. Why am I unable to feel something deep for someone like I once did? Maybe I haven't found the right person or maybe its just me. I like being able to text or call or even see someone who makes me feel special and pretty. I dont know what its wrong. Other than that I have been ok. I started work officially yesterday! It was harder than I thought but, still so much fun! All my coworkers helped out when I needed them and the managers also helped. It was nice. I go back next week for my second training. I got home around 5 something, I was so tired it was insane. I didnt end up going to bed early though, I watched sid and nancy twise! When i started to really drift off I out on forgetting sarah marshall. Such great films! Im sittting here listening to pleasure and pain by steve jones. Im obsessed with it right now. Ive been listening to The Cars a lot also. School is starting soon, I dont feel too excited right now...money issues are getting the best of me right now. I wish I had started looking for a job earlier so I would have the 2,000 already. All i can do is move on though, save and then pay as soon as I can. I just hope I'll have enough!! I have way too much on my mind, I need to relax. I might see my friend tonight, he'll be able to keep me distracted and laughing. Im thinking about having a beauty day, rejuvenate myself a little. Ive had such bad stress I have crazy heartburn and terrible knotts in my back. Im a mess at 18 lol, just pathetic. Anyways, Im going to have a beauty day. You all should treat yourself to some pampering also!







xoxo

"There's no stopping the show With your pretty pink bow"

wow it feels like such a long time since i have been on here. i have been up to my knees in chaos. alot has happened since i last was on here. i have moved back to my hometown Orange! so happy to be back. i have been out and about thats is why i havent posted! a couple weekends ago i went to temecula to visit....i wanted to see someone who i had "liked" for a long while. i got picked up around 12 and got to temecula around 1 20 or so. talked to my dad, the baby(brother) and my grandma! it was nice to see them all. it felt a little weird at first but then i got used to it. took a nap and texted that dazzling man. i ended up going to the festival with him and it was funny, we expected better and it let us down. i was so happy to be with him that i didnt really care. i was just so excited to see him. we then walked to his place and talked. then things got intense. i was soo happy i was shaking. i never thought that something between us would happen because he was in a relationship with someone for a lifetime. i ended up going home around 3 am. such an amazing night! that saturday i went out with my friend steve and he took me to dinner and to see saw 6! we had so much fun. we laughed soo much about things like rice and a crispy fry. i had a blast with him. then my night went to a halt when i found out my bestfriend was in an accident. that was the worst feeling in the world. i have never felt so scared or so sad in my entire life. thats why i think we should always appreciate things while they are here because you never know when they will be gone. we always take things for granted and say "i'll see him later and say sorry"....there isnt always a later for some. anyways later i found out he was ok. then sunday alex(step sister) woke me up at 5 to open the door for her. she had just got back from mexico with her family. we talked till we couldnt even make a complete sentence. we then decided to go to the movies and the dazzling man said he wanted to see me and take me to lunch. so we went to the mall, waited for people to get there and my sister left me and the guy at red robins. hmmm it was so nice to feel the way he made me feel. i havent been so happy in a long time. right at this moment i feel my cheeks getting hot. he is just so amazing and i have such a wonderful time with him. i was so sad when i had to leave. i got my goodbye kiss and hug. then i got back home to reality. i do have a job now! i got hired at forever 21, im soo happy. i need the money for school....which i start in jan! im so thankful to have landed the job but i have so much crap going on. two nights ago i had the worst fight ever. i have never cried so hard my entire life i thought i was going to lose someone who meant to world to me. this person had got me through the toughest times and i couldnt believe he could walk out on me like that. i have been hurt so much. BUT ahha....that dazzling man said he wanted me to be him roomie. we are getting a studio apartment together. yeah yeah...little fast? you have to live life to the fullest because you dont know when your time is over. i dont want to live my life anymore thinking "what if i did this or said this" im so done with that shit. i want to have a fun and good life. i have a job, a chase card, a great family and good friends! i want to enjoy my time. im 18 and well capable of making decisions whether they are good ones or bad ones. you learn from all the decisions you make in life. im really excited about things. you know even though you have alot of bad shit happening to you..there are always things out there to keep you busy and happy. whether its someone or something. surround yourself with things that make you happy at all times. im so thankful that my mom was there when i got home the other night. i was hysteric and couldnt even breathe. i had flashbacks on the times that me and mt friend had...and broke down. i thought back to when my first love left me and how it hurt so much more when my friend walked out on me. i cried so much i made myself sick. it was the most terrible thing. i never ever want to go through that again..nor do i wish for anyone to feel the way i did. it was a nasty feeling....to wake up after you cry yourself to sleep then wake up to the harsh reality that last night wasnt a nightmare but it happened. i feel like i am all over the place with this blog, i have so much i want to say and find it so hard to explain it all. i should probably stop before i confuse everyone. i hope everyone is well and make sure that if you are fighting with someone that you love...make up. you really never know when your time or theirs are up. make amends. goodnight everyone!




xoxo